LustfulDevil

I got a cure for the sickness I've caused Bled through the loss, smiled through the wins never heeding the cost. Till I was lost.... Gone in the wind is my eagerness to sin. Trapped in white walls never shining again. Only the shadows that encase me when the light fades dares to my friend. 30 years gone and I'm back here again drowning in sorrow. Hoping and pleading to myself for a better tomorrow. I got the cure but can't stop the cause. Looking in the mirror, meeting my eyes that have grown so dull. Pondering why we are not happy. Only for me to point the finger at the eyes that curse me. The world is not against me.. ..It's me that denies me. If only I can fight thru me to see me escape this mundane dream before time blackens this reality. These walls do not contain me but I clutch for them for safety. Laying still blanketed by bittersweet darkness. This is not all of me All I have to do is..see me...the real me I am not endless nor a dream. I am here....all I have to do is

I can't say everything will be fine. I can't say you'll be mine, I am not looking at forever. I don't care if you get better. I only care if you loosen up that sweater. Get out of your head, get into your bed. Can't say this will last forever. Can't say things will get better but my dear lover there will be another. I will not meet your mother, you will not meet my brother. For dear lover, this is the kind of love that disappears when the bed is made. The kind where the scent of pleasure fades with pleasant sprays. Won't say I love you... Only time will tell with you but I know I will never love you...

Might I only be feared for a face I did not create but only grew into? Might I actually grow into it or will I forever have people look past me? Might I feel the fire that once pushed my pen Might I ever truly begin before I reach the end.

Afraid to be left alone Yet I've come back around Tried to make you the light that brightens through the shadows of reality But where am I now? Left to the shadows of white walls Chains wrapping slowly around my throat Was a fool to believe I could see and believe the light of day with your aide When all you do is fade away when the night comes Yet I stay Always the one to get in my own way why do I stay? When one by one you all disappear on a path I can't join So I walk and walk around this blasted inferno of a circle running when in pain walking when the shadows come to play Always coming back to the start a future as hollow as my heart Never shall I part with the dark side of time This path I kick up is forever mine.